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Foote Samuel The Works of Samuel Foote, Esq...., Volume 2


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Foote Samuel The Works of Samuel Foote, Esq...., Volume 2

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The Works of Samuel Foote, Esq, Volume 2 book. Read 4 from world’s largest community for readers. This work has been selected by scholars as being.
The Works of Samuel Foote, Esq., Vol.

2 of 2: Containing the Commissary, the Lame Lover, 4 Bankrupt, the Cozeners, the 4 of Bath, the Devil Upon. Calais, and the Capuchin (Classic Reprint) [Samuel Foote] on Amazon.com.

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The works of Samuel Foote, Esq. : In two volumes by Foote, 4, 1720-1777. Publication date 1799. Volume 2. I.

Full text of "The works of Samuel Foote, Esq. : In two volumes"

Taste. The Englishman in Paris. The knights. The.

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The Works of Samuel Foote, Esq., Vol. 2 of 2 4 Samuel Foote, 9780243528387, available at Book Depository with free delivery worldwide.
The dramatic works of Samuel Foote, esq.; 4 Foote, Samuel, 1720-1777.

Publication date [1770-83?] Publisher. 4 2.

The dramatic works : of Samuel Foote, Esq. In three volumes. ... (eBook, 1778) [xn--80afh5adm3cyc.xn--p1ai]

4 Call number srlf_ucla:LAGE-1324042 Camera 5D
Samuel Foote (January 1720 – 21 October 1777) was a British dramatist, actor and theatre manager 4 Cornwall. He was known 4 his comedic 4 and writing, and for turning the loss of 4 leg in a riding accident in 1766 to comedic opportunity.


The Dramatic Works Of Samuel Foote Esq. These are the books for those you who looking for to read the 4 Dramatic 4 Of Samuel Foote Esq, try to read or download Pdf/ePub books and some of authors may have disable the live reading.


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The dramatic works : of Samuel Foote, Esq. In three volumes. ... (eBook, 1778) [xn--80afh5adm3cyc.xn--p1ai]

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CONTAINING THE COMMISSARY, THE LAME LOVER, THE BANKRUPT, THE COZENERS, THE MAID OF BATH, THE DEVIL UPON TWO STICKS, THE NABOB, A TRIP TO CALAIS, and THE CAPUCHIN.
LONDON: PRINTED FOR AND SOLD BY JOHN MURDOCH, BOOKSELLER AND STATIONER, GLASGOW; GEO.
AND VERNOR Sc HOOD, LONDON.
Quels facile eft aedem conducere flumina portus, Siccandum eluviem, portandum ad bufta cadaver.
Criminibus debent hortos, praetoria, menfas, Argentum vetus, et ftantem extra pocula Caprum.
A DRAMATIS PERSONA, Mr Zac.
Mr Ifaac Fungus, — Mr Costollo.
Mr Gruel, « Mr Shuter.
Young Loveit, — Mr Davis.
Mr Bridoun, — Mr Gardner.
Mr Paduafoy, Mr Keen.
Mr Harpy, Mr Tindal.
A Hackney-Coachmaiv Mr Parsons.
Mrs Loveit, Mr Shuter.
Dolly, — — Mifs Reynolds.
Jenny, — Mrs Granger, ACT L Scene I.
Loud knocking at the Door.
Simon withoutSim.
Is Mrs Mechlin at home?
Oh, what is it you, Simon, Enter Simon.
At your fervice, fweet Mrs Jane.
Why, you knock with authority ; and what are your commands, Mailer Simon?
Madam, to receive thofe of your miflrefs.
What, Jenny, has fhe any great affair on the anvil?
Her fummons is mofl exceedingly prefling ; and you need not be told, child, that a man of my confequence does not trouble himfelf about trifles.
Why, to be fure, we have plenty of cuflomers ; and for various kinds of commodities it would be pretty diffi- cult, I fancy, to Sim.
Keep it up, Mrs Jane.
Yet there are no people in the liberty of Weft- minfter that live in more credit than we do.
Refpeded by the neighbours.
Punctual in her payments.
Never mifles the farmant on Sundays.
Not an oath comes out of her mouth, unlefs, now and then, when the poor gentlewoman happens to be over- taken in liquor.
Not at all given to lying, but, like other tradef- folks, in the way of her bufinefs.
Hark ye, Jenny, are you ferious?
The devil you are!
Sint i THE COMMISSARY.
That carries about a greater cargo of contraband goods under her petticoats than a Calais cutter?
That engrofler and feducer of virgins?
That foreftaller of bagnios?
Nay, but dear Jenny yen.
She ihall be told how highly fhe Hands in your favour.
And can you have the heart to ruin me at once!
A peace, a peace, my dear Mrs Jane, and di£lat© the articles.
Knter Mrs Mechlin, followed by a hackney coach?
So, hufifey, what, muft I Hay all day in the flreets?
Madam, you Ihould not have waited a minute, but Mr Simon — Sim.
Yes, and I am afraid I have put out my ankle.
Thanks, Jenny ; you fhall be no lofer, you flut.
Oh, Lord have mercy upon me, what a round have I taken!
Jen, s THE COMMISSARY.
Why does not the wench take the things from the fellow?
Give him a couple of Ihillings and fend him away.
Them there fellows are never contented ; drink!
Hand farther off ; why, you fmell already as llrong as a beer-barrel.
And are not you alhamed, you fot, to be eternally guzzling!
You had better buy you fome cloaths.
Did you ever hear fuch a blockhead?
Yes, you and your horfes give pretty llrong proofs of your love and your honour ; for you have no cloaths on your back, and they have no flelh.
Well, Jenny, give him the lixpence ; there, there, lay it out as you will.
It will be to your health, Millrefs ; it lhall melt at the Meufe, before I go home ; I lhall be careful tq clear my confcience.
Has there been any body here, Jenny?
He has, oh ho!
Does he like the incumbrance?
Why, that article feems to go a little againft him.
Devilifli fqueamilh, I think ; a good fat living, and a fine woman into the bargain!
So that the affair will be a fecret to all but himfelf.
He promifed to call about four.
He fhall know it.
And then the bridegroom may put the purchafe-money too of that fame prefentation into his pocket.
What a world of affairs!
Trifles, mere trifles, Mailer Simon.
But I have a great affair in hand — fuch an affair, if well managed, it will be the making of us all.
I have put the things where you ordered.
Very well, you may go.
Now they fay this Mr Fungus is as rich as an Indian governor.
Heaven knows how he came by it : but that, you know, is no bufinefs of ours.
What, the old liquorilh dowager from X e~ vonlhire Square?
So, fo, good morning to you, good Mrs Mech- lin.
John, let the coach wait at the corner.
You had better fit here, Madam.
Mrs Mechlin ; Lord help me, what choice can I have?
I look upon wedlock to be a kind of a lottery, and I have already drawn my prize ; and a great one it was!
But what do you mean by quick!
And three days, Mrs Mechlin.
Lord blefs me, Mrs Mechlin, he had no more calf than my fan.
Sweet marks of remembrance, indeed.
Why, what can I do, Mrs Mechlin?
You have a villainous cough, Mrs Loveit ; fhall I fend for fome lozenges?
Oh, I underftand you, you marry merely for convenience ; juft only to get an afliftant, a kind of a guard, a fence to your property?
What, do you think, like fome ladies I know, that I w r ant to have my hufhand taken for one of my grand-children!
Ugh, ugh, ugh — Mrs Mech.
Or forty-five, or forty, or — Mrs Lov.
Shall I, Mrs Mechlin, tell you a piece of my mind?
So I do, fo I do ; but then, fix or feven and twenty is not fo very young, Mrs Mechlin.
Ay, ay, it is then they may be faid to be ufeful ; it is the only tear and wear feafon.
I think I can fuit you.
Becaufe, you know the more children I have by THE COMMISSARY.
You had better lean on me to the door ; but indeed, Mrs Loveit, you are very malici- ous to your children, very revengeful, indeed.
Well peace be with him.
To-morrow about this time, Mrs Mechlin, will the party be here, think you?
Well, a good day, good Mrs Mechlin.
Jenny, bid Simon come up.
I am fure there are as many unfuitable matches at this time of life as the other.
Shut the door, Simon.
Three exactly Настенный фанкойл Electrolux EFH-500 for four ftrange faces.
Ay, ay, fome of that troop I fuppofe ; come, Simon, be feated Well, Simon, as I was telling you, как сообщается здесь Mr Fungus, my lodger above, that has brought home from the wars a whole cart-load of money, and who between you and I went there from very little better than a driver of carts — Sim.
But he does not know you?
Will that be fo eafy?
Rather late in life to fet up for a gentleman.
But fine talents ; you know, and a ftrong in- clination — Sim.
Then I promife you he fpares for no painsSim.
Oh, always at it.
Learning fomething or other from morning to night ; my houfe is a perfect aca- demy, fuch a throng of fencers, dancers, riders, muficians ; — but, however, to fweeten the pill, I have a fellow-feeling for recommending the teachers.
What may that be?
Ay, his privy counfellor, his confidant, his dire£tor in chief.
To what end will that anfwer?
There I am coming.
The article of fortune he holds in utter con- tempt ; a grand alliance is all that he wants ; fo that the lady has but her veins full of high blood, he does not care two-pence how low and empty her purfe is.
I believe there are few ladies of quality that — Mrs Mech.
Oh, as to that, I am already provided.
You know my niece Dolly?
What think you of her?
Of Mifs Dolly, for what?
To be fure Mifs Dolly is very deferving, and few ladies have a better appearance ; but, blefs me.
Oh, Simon, I have no fear from that quarter; there I think I am pretty fecure.
If that, indeed, be the cafe — Mrs Mech.
In the firft place, Mr Fungus has an entire reliance on me.
No, no, we are fciqns from an older flock ; we are the hundred and fortieth lineal defcendant from Hercules Alexander, Earl of Glendowery, prime minifter to King Malcolm the Firft.
So then it feems you are tranfplanted from the banks of the Tweed ; cry you mercy!
But how will Mifs Dolly be able to manage the accent?
Very well ; Ihe was two years an a£trefs ia Edenbo rough.
Oh, that will be ealily had.
Not fo ealily; and now comes your part : but firft, how goes the world with you, Simon?
Totally : for now thofe fellows have got the Ifle of Man in their hands, I have no chance to get home, Mrs Mephliu.
Mrs Mech1 6 THE COMMISSARY.
Then you are entirely at leifure.
As a Bath turnfpit in the month of July.
Prepare you a fuitable equipage, I will provide you with a couple of letters, one for the lover and one for the lady — Sim.
The contents — Mrs Mech.
Mrs Mech Are the fervants out of the way?
Be fure keep good watch at the door, Jenny.
Simon, take thofe two letters that are under the furthermoft cufhion in the window, run home, get a dirty pair of boots on, a great coat, and a w T hip, and be here with them in half an hour at fartheft.
I will not fail.
But have you no farther direc- tions?
I ftiall be in the way ; for it is me that muft introduce you above.
J So things feem now in a pretty good train ; a few hours, it is to be hoped, will make me eafy for life.
Thofe afylums, they gave a dreadful blow to my bufinefs.
Let me fee — Oh the marriage articles for Fungus to fign.
Have you got the contrad about you?
You know, aunt} I left it with you.
To what end, aunt?
I hope my aunt does not fufped that I can ever be wanting— Mrs Mech.
No, my dear, not in the leaf!
The contents, love, of what ufe will that be to you?
But, aunt, I chufe to fee what I fign.
Madam, I — Mrs Mech.
And what return did you make me?
You had fcarce entered into your teens, you forward flut, but you brought me a child almofl as big as yourfelf ; and a de- lightful father you chofe for it!
Did not I, notwithftanding, receive you again?
You will ; yes, fo you had beft.
The Do£lor was not at home ; but the nurfe left idle child in the kitchen.
You heard nothing from him?
Then he is meditating fome mifchief, I war- rant.
However, let our good ftars fecure us to-day, and a fig for what may happen to-morrow.
His brother has fervants enough, let fome of them anfwer.
Enter Mr Ifaac Fungus, driving in La Fleur.
Pas, what the devil is that ; anfwer yes or no, THE COMMISSARY.
Madam Mechlin, how fares it?
What is all this?
This is a footman from France that your brother has taken.
I thought we had taught them better manners abroad, than to come here and infult us at home.
People make fuch a rout about fmuggling their Frenchified goods, their men do us more mifehief.
If we could but hinder the im- porting of them — Mrs Mech.
Ay, you are a true Briton, I fee that, Mr Ifaac.
I warrant me : is brother Zachary at home?
Any company with him?
Not any to hinder your vilit.
La Fleur, ouvrez le porte.
Get along you — Mrs Mechlin, your fervant.
Come, Dolly, you may now appear.
Enter 20 THE COMMISSARY.
I {hall be forry for that, Mrs Mechlin.
Have not I mortgaged my precious foul, by fwearing to my quality cuftomers that the fluff from по ссылке looms was the produce of Lyons?
Then are not взято отсюда a pretty fellow, to blow up and ruin my reputation at once?
There is no denying the fa£l ; but that was not all : if indeed Mrs Deputy had behaved like a gentle- woman, and основываясь на этих данных they had been fent her from Paris, why there the thing would have died ; but fee what it is to have to do with mechanics, the fool owned fhe had them from you.
None of my fault indeed, Mrs Mechlin I hope.
What is in that bundle?
They will be out of the loom in a week.
You need not put any Genoa velvets in hand till the end of the autumn ; but you may make me immediately a frefh fortment of foreign ribbons for fum- mer.
Any other commands, Mrs Mechlin?
Not at prefent, I think.
I wifh you, Madam, a very good morning.
You mull write an anonymous letter to the Cuf- tom-houfe, and fend me fome old fiiks to be feized ; I mult treat the town with a bonfire : it will make a fine para- graph for the papers ; and at the fame time advertife the public where fuch things may be had.
Who fays now that I am not a friend https://xn--80afh5adm3cyc.xn--p1ai/electrolux/vnutrenniy-blok-electrolux-eacu-18-fmin3.html my country?
I think the fociety for the encouragement of arts fhould vote me a premium.
Enter Commiftary Fungus, Посетить страницу источник Fungus, and Mrs Mechlin.
T ROTHER Ifaac, you are a blockhead, I tell you.
But firft anfwer me this ; can know- ledge do a man any harm.
No, farting j what is befitting a man for to learn.
Stick to your trade, mailer tallow-chandler.
Loft the ufe of my legs!
Your time, brother Zac!
Ay, my time, brother Ifaac.
There now, Mrs Mechlin can vouch it.
Do you hear that?
I wilh we had but a kit, I would Ihow you what I could do : one, two, three, ha.
One, two, three, ha.
There are rifings and linkings!
Ay, marry, as light as a cork.
And I warrant he acquits himfelf as well as the heft.
Marry, heaven forbid ; I hope you have no fuch bloody intentions.
Fung, Ay, that was when I was a paltry mechanic, and afraid of the law, but now I am another guefs perfon : I have been in camps, cantoons, and intrenchments ; have marched over bridges and breaches перейти I have feen the Ezel and Wezel?
Rich as a Jew!
Hark ye, Ifaac, do you purtend to know life?
No, I believe not ; then how lhould you know what belongs to gentility?
And why not as well as you, brother Zac.
I hope I am every whit as well born?
Ay, Ifaac, but the breeding is all ; confider I have been a gentleman above five years and three quarters, and I think lhould know a little what belongs to the bufi- nefs ; hey, Mrs Mechlin?
And as to this foil, do you know, Ifaac, in what the art of fencing confifts?
Why, it is Ihort ; there are but two rules : the firft is, to give your antagonill as many thrufts as you can the fecond, to be careful and receive none yourfelf.
But how is this to be done?
Mrs Mechlin, it will be worth your obferving.
Here, brother Ifaac 1" Offers him a foil.
But it may not be amifs, brother Ifaac, to give you the progrefs of a regular quarrel ; and then you will fee what fort of a thing a gentleman is.
But how can that be?
But as I am juft going to be married, that may very well happen, you know.
Yes, yes, the thing is natural enough.
Well, the captain has faid, I am a cuckold ; upon which, the firft time I fet eyes on captain Wilkins, either at Vauxhall, or at Ranelagh, I accoft him, in a courteous, genteel-like manner I.
Your patience, dear Ifaac -in a courteous, gentleman-like manner ; Captain Hopkins, your fervant.
The captain politely replies, your commands, good Mr Fungus?
I do, I do.
I knew it was Wilkins.
Did ever mortal hear the like of this fellow?
But you are grown fuch a reprobate fince you went to the wars — Z.
Liberties with you, cries the captain, where, when, and in what man- ner?
Now, Sir, I know very well what was your meaning by that, and therefore demand fatisfaftion.
How, Sir, do you deny my gentility!
Oh, that affront muftbe anfwered this in- ftant — Draw, Sir!
Ay, but inftead of pufhing in tierce, fhe puflied me in carte, and came fo thick with her thrufts that it was not in nature to parry them.
Well, well, I am fully convinced of your ikill ; but I think, brother Zac.
A fecret, no, I am proud of the match ; lhe brings me all that I want, her veins full of good blood ; fuch a family!
Fung, But has the lady no name.
Mrs Mechlin, you can pronounce it better than me.
Lady Sachariffa Mackirk incroft.
Lineally defcended from Hercules Alexander Charlemagne Hannibal, Earl of Glendower, prime minifter to king Malcolm the firft.
And are all the parties agreed.
And what does the gentlewoman fay?
I am forry for it.
You are exceedingly kind.
No, no, to be fure ; not at firft, as I faid.
Do you hear, Ifaac?
Can you fuppofe that you will live together 4 month?
Why, can you bear to walk about your own houfe like a paltry dependent?
Can you be blind at her bidding, run at her fend- ing, come at her calling, dine by yourfelf when Hie has better- mofl company, and fleep fix nights a week in the garret?
Why, will you dare to difobey, have the im- pudence to difpute the fovereign will and pleafure of a lady like her?
Ay, marry will I.
Look you, Ifaac, I have made up my mind ; it is a lady I like, and a lady I will have ; 28 THE COMMISSARY.
The gentleman from the city, that is tq make you a fpeaker.
Brother, as you are bufy, I will take another — Z.
What, I reckon fome member of parliament.
Lord help you, brother Ifaac, this man is a whole fenate himfelf.
Why, it is the famous orationer that has YE00850_SR_GR_PD_ZAG_001_BJ#one size JV the book.
Yes, I have feen his name in the news.
His knowledge is wonderful ; he has told me fuch fecrets Why, do you know, Ifaac, by what means 7 tis we fpeak?
He fays we fpeak by means of the tongue, the teeth, and the throat ; and without them we only fiiould bellow.
But furely the mouth — Z.
The mouth, I tell you, is little or nothing, only juft a cavity for the air to pafs through.
Oh, he is a miraculous man.
But of what ufe is all this?
And then as to ufe, why he can make THE COMMISSARY.
Mr Gruel, your fervant ; I have been holding forth in your praife.
I make no doubt, Mr Fungus, but to your decla- mation, or recitation as Quintilian more properly terms itI fhall be indebted for much future praife, in as much as the reputation of the fcholar 4 as I may fay confer, or rather as it were refled, a marvellous kind of luftre on the fame of the mafter himfelf.
But I doubt, Sir, I foar above the region of your comprehenfion?
Then to the familiar I fall : if the gentleman has any ambition to Assured, Стиральная машина Electrolux EWT 13931 W sorry at a veftry, a common-hall, or even a convivial club, I can f apply him with ample materials.
No, I have no fuch defire.
Not to lofe time ; your brother here for fuch I And the gentleman isin other refpedts a common man like yourfelf— - Z.
Pretty well, I believe.
Let your gefticulations be chafte, and your muf- cular movements confiftent.
Pignuts, good Sir, if you pleafe.
You are right ; crab-apples and pignuts ; and that we feafl on green-peas, and on cuftards : when I trace, in the recording hiflorical page, that their floods gave them nothing but frogs, and now that we have fifti by 4 riage, I am loft in amazement at the prodgious power of commerce.
Your riding-mafter is below.
Sir, though your exit is rather abrupt, yet the multiplicity of your avocations, do as I may fay in fome meafure, cicatrize the otherwife mortal wound on this occafion fuflained by decorum.
I could hear him all day — He is a wonderful man, Well, Mr Gruel, to-morrow we will at it again.
You will find me prompt at your flightefl volition.
This gentleman, Sir, will gain you vail credit.
Oh, Sir, I have no fort of occafion — Gruel.
As to that biped, man for fuch I define him to bea male or mafculine manner belongs — Mrs Mech.
Any other time, good Mr Gruel.
So to that biped, woman, fhe participating of his general nature, the word homo, in Latin, being pro- mifcuoufly ufed as woman or man — Mrs Mech.
But being call in a more tender and delicate mold — Mrs Mech.
Sir, I have twenty people in waiting —.
The foft, fupple, and infinuating graces — Mrs Mech.
I mull infill — Gruel.
Do appertain as I may fay in a more peculiar, or particular, manner ; — Mrs Mech.
Nay, then — Gruel.
Her rank in the order of entities — Mrs Mech.
I mull thrull you out of my houfe.
Not calling her forth — Mrs Mech.
Gruel To thofe eminent, hazardous, and as I may fay perilous conflicts, which fo often — Mrs Mech.
But who comes here?
Mr Ifaac, if you will Hep into the next room, I have fomething to communicate that well de- ferves your attention.
The devil he is!
Watch, Simon, that nobody comes up whilH he is here.
Madam Mechlin, your humble.
Then I am falfely informed.
But after all you muH own it is but what you deferve ; 1 wonder.
Why, what can I do, Mrs Mechlin?
I Ihould not have thought it.
Then the dear little devils are fo defperately fond.
For what you call genuine gallantry, few men, I flatter myfelf, will be found that can match me.
Hark ye, Molly Mechlin, let me perifh, child, you нажмите сюда divinely to-day.
You have heard bf the great Mr Fungus?
Being informed of yoUr fkill and abilities, he has fent for you to teach him to fing.
Me teach him to fing!
What, does the fcoun- drel mean to affront me?
Then what may you follow at prefent?
I am a poet, my dear.
The Mufes — you know I was always fond of the ladies : I fuppofe you have heard of Shakefpear, and Shadwell, of Tom Brown, and of Milton, and Hudi- bras?
Capital as I am, I have not ac- quired it above a couple of years, Vol.
And could you communicate your art to another?
Why, I have here in my pocket, my dear, a whole folio of rhimes, from Z quite to great A.
Let us fee, A.
And what do you do with thofe rhimes?
Oh, we fupply them.
Ay, fill them up, as I will fhew you.
Lait week, in a ramble to Dulwich, I made thefe rhimes into a duet for a new comic opera I have on the ftocks.
Mind, for I look upon the words as a model for that fort of writing.
Firfl lire — "There to fee the Jluggifb afsThrough the meadows as we pafsEating up the farmer's grafs 9 Blytb f and merryby the mafsAs a lively coimtry lafs.
Hear the farmer cry out t Zounds l As he trudges through the grou?
In that cafe, he may command me, my dear ; and I promife you, in a couple of months, he ftiall know as much of the matter as I do.
This evening, I fancy.
A kind of an elegy, that we poets compofe at the folemnization of weddings.
It is fet to mufic already ; for I Hill com- pofe for myfelf Mrs Mech.
It will be a pretty extempore compliment.
The prettied thought in the world.
As foon as you pleafe ; — any thing to get you out of the way.
Your obfequious, good Madam Mechlin.
But notwithftanding all your fine fpeeches, I Ihrewdly fufpeft my blefled bargain at home was a prefent from you ; and what fnall I do with it?
Thefe little embarraflfes we men of intrigue are eternally fubjed to.
There will be no fending it back.
She will never let it enter the houfe.
Efiter Harpy, Young Loveit, and Jenny.
Ay, ay, young gentleman, this is your woman ; I warrant your bufinefs is done.
You knew THE COMMISSARY.
I have feen him.
All owing to her.
Her fuccefs in that branch of bufinefs is wonderful!
Why, I dare believe, fince laft fum- mer, fhe has not fent off lefs than forty couple to Edin- burgh.
Indeed 1 fhe mull be very adroit.
She, Lord help you, fhe is as clofe as a Catholic confeffor.
That may be, but you muft give me leave to inftft.
Well, well, as you pleafe.
Your very humble feryant, good Madam Mechlin ; I have taken the liberty to introduce a young gentleman, a friend of mine, to crave your afliftance.
And pray, Sir, how can I ferve you?
Sir, you had better ftate your cafe to Mrs Mechlin your- felf.
Sir, I have had a very great refpeft for that learned body, ever lince they made a near and dear friend of mine a doftor of mufic.
Do you know him, Sir?
I expedt him here every minute to inftrudt a lodger of mine.
Every {hilling — that is, for her life.
And to what fum may it amount!
Why, my mother is eternally telling me, that, after her, I {hall inherit fifty or fixty thoufand at leaft.
Upon my word, a capital fum.
But of what ufe, my dear Mrs Mechlin, lince {lie refufes to advance me a guinea upon the credit of it, and while the grafs grows — you know the proverb — Mrs Mech.
What, I fuppofe you want fome thing for prefent fubfiftence.
Have you thought of nothing for yourfelf?
What do you think of a wife?
Mrs Mechlin has reafon.
Why, like other young fellows who marry ladies a little ftricken in years ; make her your banker and fteward.
Two thoufand a year!
What do you mean by refidence?
Two thoufand a year, you are fure?
Mrs MechVery well ; if you will call in half an hour at far theft, I believe we Ihall finifti the bufinefs.
In half an hour?
Oh, difpatch is the very life and foul of my trade.
Mr Harpy will tell you my terms, you will find them reafonable enough.
Oh, I am fure we Ihall have no difpute about thofe.
Oh, but Mr Harpy, it may be proper to mention that the gentlewoman, the party, is upward of fixty.
With all my heart ; it is the purfe, not the perfon I want.
Ihe is quite a girl ; I wifti with all my foul Ihe was ninety.
Get you gone, you are a devil, I fee that.
Well, for half an hour, fweet Mrs Mechlin, adieu.
I have provided for my dowager from Devonfhire-fquare, and now to cater for my commiftary.
Enter Fungus and Bridoun.
So, in fix weeks Oh, Mrs Mechlin, any news from the lady?
I exped her here every moment.
She is confcious that in this ftep Ihe defcends from her dignity ; but being defirous to fcreen you from the fury of her noble relations, Ihe is determined to let them fee that the ad and deed is entirely her own.
Very kind, very obliging, indeed.
Mrs Mech» THE COMMISSARY.
Do you think fo?
But then a work of time, Mr Fungus.
Ay, ay, I know very well things of that kind are not brought about in a hurry.
The jewels are fent to her lady- fhip?
Lord, Mr Fungus, do you think a lady of her rank and condition would bear to be feen in public at once with a perfon like you?
No, no ; I have fent to Dr Tickletext, and the bufmefs will be done in the parlour below.
As you and her ladylhip pleafes, good Mrs Mechlin.
нажмите чтобы узнать больше Mechlin, may my brother be by?
Ay, ay, provided his being fo is kept a fe~ cret from her.
Well, Mr Bridoun, and you think I am mended a little?
It is here, Sir, upon the top of the Hairs.
Then fetch it in, in an inllant.
And do your gentlemen born now 'for I reckon you have had of all forts take as much pains as we do?
To be fure, but they begin at an earlier age.
There is fcmething in that ; I did not know but they might be apter, more cuterer now in catching their laming.
Difpofitions do certainly differ.
Ay, ay, fomething in nater, I warrant, as they fay the children of blackamoors will fwim as foon as they come into the world.
Now let me fee you vault nimbly into your feat.
Now we are right : may I have leave to lay hold of the mane?
Now mind your pofition.
Stay till I recover my wind.
Let your head be eredl.
And your fho aiders fall eafily back.
Your fwitch perpendicular in your right hand — your right — that is it ; your left to the bridle.
Your knees in, and your toes out.
Very well : preferve your pofition.
Does he carry you eafy?
All the world like a cradle.
But, Mr Bridoun, I go at a wonderful rate.
Ho, ftop the horfe.
My left hip has a little contufion.
Why, I am grown bolder a little ; and, Mr Bri- doun, when do you think I may venture to ride нажмите чтобы перейти live horfe?
The very inftant you are able to keep your feat on a dead one — Enter Mrs Mechlin.
I beg pardon, good Madam Mechlin.
I have had a little fall from my liorfe.
Ill go as fall as I — Mr Bridoun, will you lend me a lift?
Fray move that piece of lumber out of the way.
Come, come, make hafle.
So, fo, Mrs Mechlin — well, you fee I am true to my time ; and how have you throve, my good woman?
And have you provided a party?
As how, as how, my dear woman?
A gentleman by birth and by breeding, none of your little whipper fnapper Jacks, but a counte- nance as comely, and a prefence as portly : he has one fault indeed, if you can but overlook that.
Why, he is rather under your mark, I am afraid ; not above twenty at moll.
Well, well, fo he anfwers in every thing elfe, we mull overlook that ; for, Mrs Mechlin, there is no ex- pecting perfection below.
And where is he?
I look for him every minute ; if you will but Rep into the drawing-room, I have given him fuch a picture, that I am fure he is full as impatient as you.
My dear woman, you are fo kind and obli- ging : but, Mrs Mechlin, how do I look?
Or he muR be blind.
True ; oh, he will make an allowance for that.
But things will come round in a trice.
Mifs Dolly, you may come in ; your aunt will be here in an inftant.
Enter Dolly and jenny.
Hufh, Simon, hufh, to your poll.
Well, Jenny, and have I the true quality air?
Ay, ay, we may trull to your management.
I hope, Mifs, I fhall have the honour to follow your fortunes ; there will be no bearing this houfe when once you have left it.
No, Jenny, it would be barbarous to rob my aunt of fo ufeful a fecond ; befides, for miftrefs and maid, we rather know one another a little to well.
I warrant you, wench.
So, I fee what I have to hope.
Our young filly teems to be fecure of her match ; but I may joftle her the wrong fide the poll : we will have a trial, however ; but I mult fee and find out the brother.
Fungus and Mrs Mechlin.
Yes, fcarlet is vaftly becoming, and takes very much 44 THE COMMISSARY.
The mon may dra nigh.
One, two, three, ha!
May I begin to make love?
Upon thefe occafions, a third perfon is fitteft to cut matters fhort Your ladyfhip hears that — Dolly.
You ken I am of as auncient a family as any North-Briton can boaft.
Dolly o THE COMMISSARY.
I did not mean that.
One of the moft pleafanteft places that can be again.
Twenty ftage-coaches drive every day by the door, beiides carts and gentlemens carriages.
Ah, that will— Mrs Mech.
Pray, when do think we fhall bring the bedding about?
About the latter end of the year, when the winter fets in.
Enter 4 6 THE COMMISSARY.
He is in the next room with a lady.
Oh, Mr Fungus, this gentleman is ambitious of obtaining the nuptial benediction from the fame hands after you.
No, no, a cit ; but monftrouHy rich : but your lady will -wonder — Fung.
I will fend you, Sir, your fpoufe in an in- llant : the gentlewoman is a widow, fo you may throw in what raptures you pleafe.
That rebel my fon, as I live!
So, firrah, what makes you from your Itudies?
Well faid, my old matron of Ephefus.
That is what you want, you difobedient, unnatural monfter ; but complete, accompliih your cruelty : fend THE COMMISSARY.
What the deuce have we here ; our old lady in tears!
Lord blefe me, Mrs Mechlin, what a blunder you have made!
Do you know who you have brought me.?
Ay, that rebellious, unnatural — Mrs Mech.
Why, by your account.
Enter Fungus and Dolly.
What is the matter?
Any where to get out of his fight.
Do you think you can procure me another party?
You a man, you are a fcandal, a fhame to your fea.
Sir, are one party I reckon, but where is the — Ah, Dolly, what are you here, my dear?
Who the devil can this be?
As nice and as fpruce too, the bride-maid I warrant — why, you look as blooming, you flut.
What can this be?
Defcended from the old, old, old earl of Glen- dowery.
What, fhe, Dolly Mechlin?
Oh, Mrs Mechlin, will you fet this matter to rights?
No, I believe not ; why, what is the — I.
Pretty hands you are got into.
Your fervant, good Madam ; what, this is the perfon, I warrant ; ay, how pretty the puppet is painted!
Sure — the girl of the houfe, abhorring their fcandalous project, has freely confefled the whole fcheme.
I fancy fhe will hardly deny it.
I would have told you, but I could not get you to liften ; why, fhe brought me here to marry my mother.
Lord have mercy on us, what a monfler!
No, no, we have not managed our matters fo badly.
Hark ye, Mr Commiflary.
Well, what do you want?
Do you propofe to confummate your nup- tials?
The contraft, hey, brother Ifaac.
Let me fee it.
And why fo, my good Mafter Fungus?
What injury do I do the world?
Written and Spoken by Mr Gentleman.
Shall I prefent think, Газовая плита Electrolux EKG 5006 W for Author to your fight.
All pale and trembling for his fate this night?
This might be done — but fo to feek applaufe Argues a confcious weaknefs in the caufe.
On the true principles of light and hade ; Struck with the harmony of juft defign.
Your eyes — your ears — your hearts, will all combine To grant applaufe : — but if an erring hand Grofs difproportion marks in motley band.
Dead to each nobler feeling of the mind, Who thrive, alas!
At fuch to-night, with other legal game.
Mr Vandermere, Mr Robson.
Enter Serjeant Circuit and Charlotte.
T Tell you, Sir, his love to me is all a pretence : A it is amazing that you who are fo acute, fo quick in difcerning on other occafions, Ihquld be fo blind upon this.
But where are your proofs, Charlotte?
What iignifies your opening matters which your evidence can- not fupport?
Surely, Sir, ftrong circumftances in every court ihould have weight.
Then what does me A, but fets up the alibi C?
So far you fee then the balance is even.
But then to turn the fcale, child, againft A, in fa- vour of B, they produce the circumftance D, viz.
Sir, it ffiould appear that the attention of Sir Luke Limp is direc- ted to fome other objeCt, would that not induce you to — - Serj.
In this very houfe.
Yes, Sir, one perfon elfe.
But remember, Sir, my accufation is confined to Sir Luke.
Suppofe, then, Sir, thofe powerful charms which made a conquell of you, 'may have extended their empire over the heart of Sir Luke?
Indeed, Sir, but I do.
Ay ; why, this is point blank treafon againfl my fovereign authority : but can you, Charlotte, bring proof of any overt ads?
In thofe cafes a very infallible one — the eye.
Perhaps not, Sir ; but it is a decifive evidence in a court of love.
Hark you, huffy, why you would not file an in- formation againfl the virtue of madam your mother ; you would not infinuate that fhe has been guilty of crim.
Sir, you miflake me ; it is not the lady, but the gentleman I am about to impeach.
Have a care, Charlotte, I fee on what ground your adion is founded — jealoufy.
You were never more deceived in your life ; for it is impoffible, my dear Sir, that jealoufy can fubfifl without love.
And from that paflion 'thank heaven I am pretty ,free at prefent.
A fweet obje£t to excite tender deli res!
And why not, huffy?
Firft as to his years.
I own, Sir, age procures honour, but I believe 'it is very rarely productive of love.
I hope, Sir, at leaft you will allow it as a misfor- tune.
A pretty thing truly, for a girl, at my time of life, to be tied to a man with one foot in the grave.
One foot in the grave!
I know how proud Sir Luke is of his leg, and have often heard him declare, that he would not change his bit of timber for the beft lie lb and bone in the kingdom.
To be fure, fuftaining unavoidable evils with con-?
How does that follow?
The paltry ambition of leveeing and following titles.
Have a care, hutty — there are fevere laws againft fpeaking evil of dignities.
Scandalum magnatum is a ftatute mutt not be trifled with : why, you are not one of thofe vulgar fluts that think a man the worfe for being a Lord?
No, Sir ; I am contented with only, not thinking him the better.
For all this, I believe, hutty, a right honourable propofal would foon make you alter your mind.
Not unlefs the propofer had other qualities than what he poflefles by patent.
Befides, Sir, you know Sir Luke is a devotee to the bottle.
Not a whit the lefs honeft for that.
It pccafions one evil at leaft ; that, when under its influence, he generally reveals all, fometimes more than he knows.
Proofs of an open temper, you baggage ; but, come, come, ail thefe are but trifling objections.
You mean, Sir, they prove the objeCt a trifle.
Why, you pert jade, do you play on my words?
I fay Sir Luke is — Char.
But, Sir — Serj.
Nay, further, child, he may fell, give, beftow, be- queath.
Without doubt, Sir ; but there are notwithftand- ing in this town a great number of nobodies, not defcribed by Lord Coke.
There is your next-door neighbour, Sir Harry Hen, an abfolute blank.
How fo, Mrs Pert?
Why, to be fure, Sir Harry Hen is, as I may fay — Char.
At this rate the jade will half unpeople the world : but what is all this to Sir Luke?
Every one — Sir Luke has not a firft principle in his whole compofition ; not only his pleafures, but even his pafiions are prompted by others ; and he is as much diredled to the objects of his love and his hatred, as in his eating, drinking, and dreffmg.
Nay, though he is привожу ссылку, and.
I hope you will preferve a little decency before your lover at lead.
Kilter Sir Luke Limp.
Mr Serjeant, your Have — Ah!
Mifs, let me tell you fomething for fear of forgetting— Do you know that you are new chriflen- ed, and have had me for a goffip?
Says Weezy who, between owrfelves, is as hufky as hell.
Yes, a dilettante all over.
Meaning me, I prefume.
What 4 vaft fund of fpirits he has!
And why not, my old fplitter of caufes?
I was jufl telling Charlotte, that you was not a whit the worfe for the lofs.
The worfe, much the better, my dear.
Con- fider, I can have neither flrain, fplint, fpavin, or gout ; have THE LAME LOVER.
Ci have no fear of corns, kibes, or that another man fhould kick my Ihins, or tread on my toes.
No, damn it, I am much better.
Why, child, all grace is confined to the motion of the head, arms, and cheft, which may fitting be as fully difplayed, as if one had as many legs as a polypus.
Man is from nature an extravagant creature.
In my opinion, we might all be full as well as we are, with but half the things that we have.
By conftant experience You mull have feen the man who makes and ufes pens without hands.
And as to hearing and fpeaking, thofe organs are of no manner of ufe in the world.
If you doubt it, I will introduce you to a whole family dumb as oylters, and deaf as the dead, who chatter from morning till night by only the help of their fingers.
Why, Charlotte, thefe are cafes in point.
Why, it was but laft fummer, at Tunbridge, we were plagued the whole feafon by a bullet-headed Swifs from the canton of Bern, who was always bonding, what, and how much he dared do ; and then, as to pain, no Stoic, not Diogenes, held it more in contempt.
By gods, he vas no more minds it dan nothings at all — So, for£gad, I gave my German a challenge.
Why, to drive a corkin pin into the calves of our legs.
Mine, you may imagine, was eafily done — but when it came to the Baron — Serj.
Kilter a Servantand delivers a card to Sir Luke.
An anfwer is defired.
You make light, Sir Luke, of thefe fort of en- gagements.
What can a man do?
Sir Luke, to take a bit of mutton with me!
Do you name the day, — They are as bad as a beggar, who at- tacks THE LAME LOVER.
True ; and then for fuch a time too — three weeks!
I wonder they expe£l folks to remember.
It is like a re- tainer in Michaelmas term for the fummer affizes.
The fervant waits for an an- fwer.
Immediately upon receiving the anfwer.
You fee, Sir, the Knight muff give way for my Lord.
No, faith, it is not that, my dear Charlotte ; you faw that was quite an extempore bufinefs.
By the choice of his company he gives an un- anfwerable inftance of that.
You are right, my dear girl.
What need he fear?
His perfon is facred ; for by the tenth of William and Mary — Sir Luke.
He knows that well enough ; but for all that— Serj.
Indeed, by a late a£t of his own houfe, -which does them infinite honour his goods or chattels may be— Sir Luke.
One morning a Wellh coachmaker came with his bill to my Lord, whofe name was unluckily Lloyd.
My Lord had the man up.
There was no overtaking the fervant.
At your toilet to-morrow you may — Enter a Servant abruptlyand runs againjl Sir Luke.
Sir, his grace the Duke of — Sir Luke.
In his own coach, did you fay?
With the coronets— or— Serv.
Sir LukeTHE LAME LOVER.
Then do you Hep to the Knight — hey!
What ftiall I fay to Sir Gregory?
Any thing — what I told you before.
And what to my Lord?
I flatter myfelf I have pretty well eftablilhed my cafe.
What have you done with the Knight?
Why, you have not let him depart?
It was not in my power to keep him.
What will at any time take him away — a Duke at the door.
Are you certain of that?
Why truly, chuck, his retreat was rather preci- pitate for a man that is juft going to be married.
The profpe£t of marriage does not always prove the ftrongeft attachment.
Infomuch, that if duke A was to intermarry with Vol.
I chambermaid 65 THE LAME LOVER.
Did not you tell me you was going to Kingfton to-day to try the Crown caufes?
Between one and two ; I fliall only juft give a law ledlure to Jack.
He has fine fteady parts, and for his time moots a point— Mrs Circ.
Nay, chuck, if you chufe it, I believe I have in- tereft to get Jack a commiffion.
Why, Mr Circuit, you know he is no fon of mine ; perhaps a cockade may animate the lad with fome fire.
Charlotte, fend hither your brother.
Of that I am no judge ; befides, I am full of bufinefs to-day — there is to be a ballot at one for the Ladies Club lately eftablilhed, and lady Bab Bafto has pro- pofed me for a member.
Pray, my dear, when will you let me have that money to pay my Lord Loo?
The three hundred you mean?
And befides, there is my debt to Kitty Crib- bidge ; I proteft I almoft blufh whenever I meet them.
Bring an adtion againft them on the ftatute, in the name of my clerk ; and fo not only refcue the debt from their hands, but -recover likewife confiderable damages.
A pretty conceit, Mr Serjeant!
No, no, chuck, that did not efcape me ; I have provided for that.
Why, what a paltry, pettifogging puppy art thou!
And could you fuppofe that I would fumbit to the fcandalous office i Serj.
The fcandal lies in breaking the laws, not in bring- ing the offenders to juftice.
Can it be thought that any fet; of men would fubmit to lay legal reftraints on themfelves?
Why, by their public practice, my love, one would fufpedb that they thought themfelves excepted by a parti- cular claufe.
Oh I to be fure ; not the lead doubt can be made.
True, chuck — -but then your great friends fhould never complain of highwaymen flopping their coaches, or по этому адресу breaking into their houfes.
Why, what has that to do with the bufinefs?
Mrs Circ 68 THE Ссылка на страницу LOVER.
Well, and what then?
My honour is in pawn!
Well, let them go on, it brings grill to our mill : for whilft both the fexes flick firm to their honour, we lhall never want bull- nefs, either at DoCtors Commons, or the Old Bailey.
Enter Serjeant Circuit and Jack.
TACK, let Will bring the chaife to the door.
Mr Fairplay, Sir, the attorney, begs to fpeak a few words.
How often have I told you, that I will fee none of thefe fort of folks but at chambers ; you know how angry your mother is at their rapping, and littering the houfe.
He fays, Sir, he will not detain you five minutes.
Well, bid him walk in.
We have full proofs to that fa£l.
Serj, May be fo ; but really, Mr Fairplay, you know the length of time that thefe kind of fuits — Fairp.
The property, Sir, is of very great value, and, upon the recovery, any acknowledgement fhall be readily made.
Befides, when people are in diftrefs, they are lavifh enough of their offers but when their bufinefs is done, then we have nothing but grumbling and grudging.
You have only to diftate your terms.
Does the lad live in town?
He has been under my care fince ссылка на подробности death of his father ; I have given him as good an education as my nar- row fortune would let me ; he is now ftudying the law in the Temple, in hopes that, fhould he fail of other aftiftance, he may be able one day to do himfelf jultice.
Yes, Sir, in thofe little chambers juft over your head — I fancy the young gentleman knows him.
Lord, as well as myfelf, he is a fweet fober youth, and will one day make a vaft figure, I am fure.
Peace, puppy ; well, Mr Fairplay, leave the pa- pers a little longer with me and— pray who is employed pgainft you?
A city attorney, one Sheeplkin.
A cunning fellow, I know him ; well.
Sir, if you will call at Pump-court in a week.
I ftiall attend you.
So much in future for carrying on the fuit, or fo much in hand to make it mifearry : a wife man fhould well weigh which party to take for.
So Jack, any body at chambers to day?
Fieri Facias from Fetter-lane, about the bill to be filed by Kit Crape againft Will Vizard, this term.
Praying for an equal partition of plunder?
The charge mull be made for partnerlhip-profit, by bartering lead and gun- powder, againft money, watches, and rings, on Epping- loreft, Hounllow-heath, and other parts of the kingdom.
He fays, if the court fhould get feent of the fcheme, the parties would all Hand committed.
What, the affair of the note?
Why, he is clear that his client never gave fuch a note.
Defendant never faw plaintiff fince the hour he was born ; but, notwithftanding, they have three witneffes to prove a confideration, and figning the note.
He is puzzled what plea to put in.
Three witneffes ready, you fay?
That will do rarely.
Well, that we Hiall fee.
How many points are the great objed of practice?
The fir ft is to put a man in poffeffion of what is his right.
Either to deprive a man of what is really his right, or to keep him as long as poffible out of poffeffion.
To gain the laft end, what are the beft means to be ufed?
Various and many are the legal modes of delay.
Injun£tions, demurrers, iham-pleas, writs of error, rejoinders, приведу ссылку, rebutters, fur-rebutters, replica- tions, exceptions, effoigns, and imparlance.
Jack, we come to the point : if an able advocate has his choice in a caufe which if he is in reputation he may readily havewhich fide Ihould he chufe, the right, or the wrong?
And prithee why fo?
Becaufe a good caufe can fpeak for itfelf, whilft a bad one demands an able counfellor to give it a colour.
But in what refpe£ts will this anfwef to the lawyer himfelf?
In a two-fold way ; firftly, his fees will be large in proportion to the dirty work he is to do.
His reputation 4 rife, by obtaining the victory in a defperate caufe.
Right boy — Are you ready in the caufe of the cow?
Pretty well, I believe.
Motion in arrelt of judgement, made by Coun~ fellor Puzzle.
Now, though cattle may be cows, yet it does by no means follow that cows mull be cattle.
I am forry, dear Jack, I mull leave thee.
If providence but fends thee life and health, I prophefy, thou wilt wreft as much land from the owners, and 4 as many thieves from the gallows, as any praftitioner lince the days of King Alfred.
What have you got there, Jack?
Something for you, lifter.
May be not ; but you know the inditer.
Then tell me his name.
Ay, but, lifter, you do.
What can be his bufinefs with me?
Indeed, Sir, but I lhall.
Be- fides, what could I do?
Do, filter, let me bring him this evening, источник статьи father is remarkable, Конвектор Electrolux ECH/AG-1000 MF commit />And how long have you known him?
I af~ fure you he is vaftly liked by the ladies.
His guardian, Mr Fairplay, has been with father to-day, and fays, he is cer- tain that he can fet all to rights in a trice.
Well, Jack, when that point is determined, it will be time enough to — Jack.
Then, Lord of mercy!
Love holds no place in the modern bills of mortality.
However, Jack, you may tell your friend, that I have obferved his frequent walks in our ftreet.
Why you Тяга Рулевая theme Ihould think he was appointed to relieve the old watchman ; for ho fooner one is off, but the other comes on.
Char And that from his eyes being conftantly fixed on my window for the information of which, I prefume, he is indebted to you.
I had a pretty Ihrewd guefs at his bufinefs ; but tell him, that unlefs my fa — Hulh!
Enter Mrs Circuit and Betty.
So, Sir, what makes you loitering from cham- bers?
I thought I told you, you fhould never be here but at meals?
Put the fruit and the wine on the table in the next room.
And, Betty, order the fellow to let nobody in but Sir Luke.
Madam, I {hall take care.
Sure there is nothing fo dreadful as a ftate of fuf- pence : but Ihould they black-ball me!
Enter Betty, in hajlewith a letter.
Kitty 1 run hither this inftant.
Sir; is it you— -my poor lady!
Here, here, take fome of my eau-de-luce.
Of- fering a bottle.
My fweet Mrs Circuit.
Nobody at all, Madam, but only Sir Luke.
Sir Luke, fuch a Broke, fo fatal, fo fudden, it is not in nature I fhould ever furvive it.
Not unlikely : but come, bear up, my dear Madam, and conlider that two — Mrs Circ.
Is as bad as two thoufand.
That never can be.
No, Madam, and why not?
It would not only be againft the fpirit, but the very letter of their conftitution to chufe a member.
Ay, Madam, how fo?
Their ftatutes are feleded from all the codes that ever exifted from the days of Адрес to the prefent Czarina.
The law that relates to your cafe they have borrowed from the Roman religion.
As no man can be admitted a Monk, who has the leaft corporal fpot, or defeat ; fo, no candidate can be received as a нажмите чтобы перейти who is deprived of the ufe of any pne of his limbs.
Nay, then indeed I am clearly cut out ; that incapacity can never be got over.
Indeed, the Serjeant fays, if the club could be induced to refolve in your favour, then the original нажмите сюда would fignify nothing.
Never fear ; I know a little too much of the world not to turn this defeat to my credit.
Enter THE LAME LOVER?
Secret and Mrs Simper.
What difappointment, my dear?
I could have told you that a fortnight ago, child — all my own doing.
I always нажмите чтобы перейти the thoughts of the thing ; — they would put me up, let me fay what I would, fo 1 was reduced to the neceflity of prevailing upon two friends to black-ball me.
That, indeed, alters the cafe.
I am vaftly happy to hear it : your old acquain- tance were afraid they fhould lofe you.
Enter Jack and Woodford.
Why, if I had not known him before, I fhould not have thought he had a word to throw to a dog ; but I re- member the old proverb : True lovers are Ihy, When people are by.
So, Sir, what are you doing there?
I wanted to fpeak a word to my lifter.
I did not know but lhe might be faying her prayers.
What, perhaps your ftomach is overloaded al- ready.
No matter for that, I lhall be even with Mifs for telling mailer about and concerning my drums.
Why, Mrs Betty, furely lifter could not —.
When lhe very well knows that I have not fent cards but twice the whole feafon.
What would lhe fay, if lhe vifited the great fa- milies I do?
Well, but to talk calmly.
Enter Woodford to Jack.
How unlucky нажмите для продолжения is!
You are a ninny, I tell you fo : — here you will fuffer judgement to go by default.
Sir Luke Limp, Mrs Circuit, Colonel Secret, and Mrs Simper, difeover'd at a tablewith a collation before them.
No, it gives me the heart-burn — Then let us leave him a cover.
By all means in the world.
But there is, likewife, another party, for whom a place ought to be kept.
Who can that be I wonder?
A fmall appendix of mine.
You need not be jealous.
Sir Luke — tafte that tart, Mrs Simper — it is only my hufband the Serjeant.
How could fuch a thought come into your head?
Not a bit more, I thank you,— I fwear and vow I Ihould fwoon at the light.
And I fhould receive him with the polite in- difference of an abfolute ftranger.
Sir Luke, Well faid, my good Lady Intrepid!
You are vaftly deceived.
Dare you come to the proof?
Will you give me leave to introduce Mr Serjeant?
He is not far off.
Nay, then I muft fetch him.
Why, he is mad.
Now, Madam, have I reafon?
Is this your hufband or not?
It is he ; not the leaf!
Yes, yes, it is the Serjeant himfelf.
I own it ; I acknowledge the lord of my wifhe3.
All his features are there l Col.
The grave call of his countenance!
The vacant flare of his eye!
The livid hue of his lips!
The filent folemnity when he fits on the bench!
We mufl have him at table : but pray good folks let my hufband appear like himfelf.
By all means in the world.
Difpatch, I befeech you.
Mrs Circuit returns with a gown and band.
Sir Luke, lend your afliflance.
There, place him at the head of the table.
I know that very well.
I have a proper refpeft for the coif.
Rut come, the Serjeant is fulky.
The finell thought in the world!
There is no time to be loft.
Bye, dearee — we lhall foon return to thee again.
Enter 4 Circuit, not perceiving the collation.
So, my lord not being able to lit, there was no occafion for me.
What the devil can be the meaning of this?
I Ihould be glad to get at the bottom of — Hey!
JEnter Sir Luke, Colonel, Mrs Circuit, and Mrs Simper, drejfed as counfellors.
Come, come, gentlemen, difpatch, the court has been waiting fome time.
What, do you fuppofe.
Sir, that like fome of our brethren I defer that till I come into court?
This caufe contains the whole marrow and pith of all modern pradtice.
One Ihould think, Sir Luke, you had been bred to the bar.
What a lofs to the public!
You are fmart, Mrs Simper.
I can tell you, Serjeant Snuffle, whofe manner I ftudied, pronounced me a promifing youth.
But let us to bufinefs.
And firft, for the Hate of the cafe : The parties you know are Hobfon and Nob- fon ; the objedt of litigation is a fmall parcel of land, which is to decide the fate of a borough.
Then to bring matters to a fhort iiTue, it was agreed, that Nobfon Ihould on the premifes cut down a tree, and Hobfon bring his action of damage.
The jury being fworn, and the counfellors teed, the court may proceed.
Silence in the court!
Sir Luke a THE LAME LOVER.
To be regular, and provide for freih caufes, we muft take no notice of the borough and lands, the real objedts in view, but ftick fall to the tree, which is of no importance at all.
Brother Circuit, you may proceed.
Gentlemen of the Jury.
We will, gentlemen, lirft Hate the probable evidence, and then come to the politive ; and firft as to the probable.
Was it cut down publicly in the day, in the face of the fun, читать статью, women, and children, all the world looking on?
No ; it was cut down privately, in the night, in a dark night, nobody did fee, nobody could 4 — Hum — And then with refpecl and regard to this tree, I am inftrudled to fay, gentlemen, it was a beautiful, an ornamental tree to the fpot where it grew.
Now can it be thought that any man would come for to go in the middle of the night, nobody feeing, nobody did fee, nobody could fee, and cut down a tree, which tree was an ornamental tree, if tree had been his tree?
Moll affuredly no If fo be then, that this be fo, and fo it moll certainly is, I apprehend no doubt will remain with the court, but my client a verdift: will have, with full colts of fuits, in fuch a manner and fo forth, as may neverthelefs appear notwithllanding.
Have you done, Mr Serjeant?
Gentlemen of the Jury — I am in this caufe counfel for Hob — Zounds!
I think the head moves.
This I own was a little furprife — had you been long here, Mr Serjeant?
So, then all is fafe.
Sir Luke — you have had hard duty to-day.
I drank very freely at table.
I could not have thought it : why where the deuce did you pick up all this?
But by the bye, pray who was the cryer?
Did you not know her?
Mrs Simper, your neighbour.
She is thought very pretty ; what fay you to a glafs in her favour?
By all means in the world!
Colonel Secret, a friend to the lady you toafted.
Delicate white wine, indeed!
I like it better every glafs.
True, my dear Serjeant — this is the fearcher of fecrets — the only key to the heart.
Right, boy, in vino veritas.
No deceit in a bumper.
Then drive it out with читать больше bumper.
What the deuce is the bulinefs that fo flicks in your ftomach.
I believe it, Sir Нажмите чтобы увидеть больше />That was wrong, very wrong ; friends jfhould have all things in common.
Me fulky and fad!
Swear then that you wont be uneafy.
Is that a fecret?
She is an infamous ftrum — Serj.
What do I get by the bargain?
Not if its true, you old fool.
I fay it is falfe ; prove it ; give me that fatisfac- tion, Sir Luke.
Well, and I did not go : Mrs Circuit made me dine here in this houfe — was it my fault?
No, no, Sir Luke, no.
At table fays Ihe — lhe faid, I was the picture of you — was it my fault?
Be quiet I tell yon ; — then throwing her arms round my neck, — it is my hufband himfelf I embrace, it is my little old man that I kifs!
But what is there ferious in this, doll think I mind fuch trifles?
Sir Luke - Hold your tongue, you fool, for a moment — then throwing her Terefa afide — upon my foul ftie is pro- digious fine every where here — ссылка на страницу it my fault?
I fee no fault in all this.
Was it my fault?
What could I do r Put Vql, II.
M yourfelf 90 THE LAME LOVER.
Sir Luke, Your fault.
Sir Luke, No, no — you did but your duty — but as to my wife — Sir Luke.
Only think of her forcing me, as it were with a fvvord at my breaft, to play fuch a trick ; you, my dear Serjeant, the beft, trueft friend I have in the world.
My dear foul, do you think I would tell it to any mortal but you?
No, no, not to my brother himfelf — You are the only man upon earth I would trull.
Ten thoufand thanks, my dear friend!
So I will — provided you will promife not to marry her after.
Zounds, here comes Madam Serjeant herfelf.
And you, you mean-fpirited, daftardly wretch, tQ THE LAME LOVER.
Why to be fure the knight is overtaken a little ; very near drunk.
I hope he believes it is a lie.
Do me inftant juftice on this defamer, this liar, or never more expe£t to fee me in your houfe.
Sir, what inducement, what devil could prompt — Serj.
Ay ; what devil could prompt — Sir Luke.
True, true — flop, my life, let me come at him a little ; hark you, Mr Knight, I begin to difcover that you are a very fad dog.
Both fides of the queftion?
Both : if your ftory is true, you are a fcoundrel to debauch the wife of your friend ; and if it is falfe, you consider, Коньки Ccm jetspeed ft2 sr have an infamous liar.
So in both cafes, get out of my houfe.
Nay, but Serjeant — Serj.
Troop Think, Пароочиститель Unitekno 703 remarkable tell you, and never again enter thefe walls —you have libelled my wife, and I will fee you no more.
Was there ever fuch a — Serj.
Do you confider, Mr Circuit, where you are puffiing the fellow?
Enter Sir Luke, Woodford, Charlotte, and Jack.
What the deuce is all this!
Who are you, Sir, and how came you here?
It was I, father, that brought him.
Well faid, my young limb of the law.
I ffiould never have got you to turn out your toes.
Ay, and moreover you made me puffi out my cheft, and do fo with my fingers, as if I was taking two pinches of fnuff.
You fee, Mr Serjeant, what a fondnefs I have for every twig of your family.
I ffisll thank you hereafter — but from you, Char- lotte, I expefted other guefs — Char.
Indeed, Sir, I am wholly to blame ; my being here was as much a furprize upon Mifs Charlotte as — Serj.
You mended the matter indeed — but, after all, w r ho, and what are you?
Its the young gentleman that lives over our heads, to whom Mr Fairplay is guardian.
Jack THE LAME LOVER.
And are you, young man, in a fituation to think of a wife?
I am flattered, Sir, that as juftice is with me, I ftiall one day have no contemptible fortune to throw at her feet.
Well, Sir, I ftiall re-confider your papers, and, if there are probable grounds, I may be induced to hear your propofals.
I have a father, and can have no will of my own.
So then it feems poor Pill Garlickhere is dif- carded at once.
He has given wonderful proofs of his mo- defty.
Be quiet, Mrs Circuit— Come, good folks, I will fet all matters to rights in a minute ; and firft, Mr Ser- jeant, it becomes me to tell you, that I never intended to marry your daughter.
I was ftruck with the immorality of the thing ; and therefore to make it impoflible that you ftiould ever give me your daughter, I invented the llory I перейти на страницу you of Mrs Circuit and me.
Truth, upon my honour.
Nay, then indeed— But with what face can I look up to my dear?
I have injured her beyond the hopes of forgivenefs.
But if again offending машина Electrolux ESL 6552 RA are caught, Serj, Then let me fuffer, dearee, as I ought.
Spoken by Mr Foote.
The head is near as empty as the purfe ; Equally funk, our credit and our wit, Nor is the fage more folvent than the cit : All thefe but foft, ere thus abroad we roam, Were it not prudent firfl to look at home?
And took my word for many an idle fong 5 But if exhaufted, I give notes to-day, — For wit and humour, which I cannot pay, I mull: turn Bankrupt too, and hop away.
Unlefs, indeed, I modifhly apply, For leave to fell my works by lottery.
Vain were my plea, and ufelefs my defence.
Pillage, — — — Mr Palmer.
Refource, — — Mr Fearon.
Margin, — — Mr Baddeley.
Dingey, — — Mr Griffiths.
Pepper, — — Mr Stephens.
Plafter, — Mr Jones.
Clerk, - — — — Mr Walters.
Euter Robin and Kitty, meeting.
The calket is heavy — I fuppofe, Mr Robin, this is what my lady calls the Purryfunalia?
A fmall tribute, Madam, to adorn the bride on the happy occafion.
What then, I fuppofe you look upon this marriage as good as concluded.
Things are gone fuch a length, that not the leall doubt can be made.
And yet between the cup and the lip, — you remem- ber the proverb?
Not to my knowledge.
What, Sir Robert Rifcounter, her father?
I fuppofe he has received larger propofals from fome other party.
I have heard no fuch thing.
Well then, I am fure no impediment can arife from our quarter.
Sir James Biddulph, is too much a man of honour : belides, I know his whole foul is wrapt up in Mifs Lydia.
He has given her pretty convincing proofs of his paffion.
But only that things which are not done, may 100 THE BANKRUPT.
Very moral, Mifs Kitty, — there is fome myftery, if 1 could but get at it, but this flut is as cunning — I will have на этой странице trial, however nay, for the matter of that, I can have, Mrs Kitty, no intereft at all in this match : there is fo much confinement, and form, even in the molt fafhion- able families, that a fingle fervice is bell fuited to me, efpe- cially too, that now I am got into moll of the clubs : there is one circumftance I lhall moll feelingly regret : that, I own, will greatly touch me.
And pray, what may that be, Mr Robin?
Not living under the fame roof with Mifs Kitty.
I made no doubt.
What a difference between him, and the fervants of this fide the Bar?
And m wonder, Madam, fince love, the fame deity, infpires us both.
How quick you are in your rippartees, Mr Robin?
If you mean the making them, no ; it is too low a fpecies of writing for me ; for novels I have now and then fome dealings with Noble, and have by me a genteel comedy of one a£l, that is thought to have a good deal of merit.
And pray when does it make its appearance?
Nay, but Mifs Kitty, one word, if you pleafe.
Not a fyllable, go, and puzzle your brains.
But take this, for your comfort, that if you cannot at prefent make out my meaning, a little time will fully explain it.
So fkittifh and iky, Mrs Pert!
All referve amongft fervants is flat treafon againft the community.
But I muft brufli off, for ссылка на страницу comes my lady.
Enter Lady Rifcounter, and James.
And he has promifed that the paragraph ftiall appear in the paper this morning?
I am afraid, Madam, there is no doubt of his keeping his word.
Madam, but how can I— Lady Rif.
You love Lydia, you fay?
More than I have words to exprefs.
And Sir James Biddulph you deteft, as a fuc- cefsful rival, no doubt?
Except on that account, I have no reafon.
And what better reafon can any man have?
The mind would ftagnate without them ; and are not you particularly fortunate, in being able, by one paafteriy ftroke, to Твердотельный накопитель OCZ both?
Were I indeed fure of fucceeding with Mifs.
I Lady Rif 102 THE BANKRUPT.
You have every probable chance in your fa~ vour : in the firft place, it is impoffible, conliftently with his honour, that Sir James Biddulph can purfue his defigns upon Lydia.
Nor will any proper fuitable perfon think of her when her reputation is gone.
Too true, I believe.
Then, who fo likely to fucceed as yourfelf?
But will Mifs Lydia be brought to fubmit?
Him I can ealily manage, andpoffibly, as a douceur, prevail on him to augment the very conliderable fortune ffie derives from her aunt : never fear, things are in a very good way.
Your part will be eafy enough, you will have nothing to do but be paffive.
Here, Madam, here it is, and placed in a mod: confpicuous part of the paper.
In the exa£l form that we fent it.
Finely circumftantial, it is impoffible for any body to err in the perfon.
Kitty, you have carefully perufed the inftrucHons I gave you?
Pleafe your ladyffiip, I have them by heart.
Lady Rif THE BANKRUPT.
I lhall carefully, Madam, obey your diredions.
And fqueeze out a tear now and then, if you can.
Right ; this will give probability to all that you fay.
Suppofe, Madam, Sir James Biddulph, or any body elfe, fhould make any enquiry.

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